New start

Today seems like a new start in a way. Today would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary. But, obviously,it's not. Instead of being in my room in my house, I'm in an apartment. My old bedroom no longer belongs to me. It's 10am and I'm lying in bed. The windows are open and a breeze is coming into the room with the sound of many birds singing their songs. I have my beautiful white cotton bedding and my old Hawaiian print quilt. And I'm happy here. Happier than I can remember being. I think I'm not just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'm standing in the light. It feels good.

Goodbye house

Its 12:14am. This is the day the title on our house changes to its new owners. Although we left on bad terms I still have many happy memories of the house. I remember how happy I was the day we signed the papers. I could hardly wait to move in. I remember a lot of good times, crazy laughter, holidays and birthdays. I remember bringing Maddie home from the shelter and the momentary regret as she backed a cat into the corner of the yard 5 minutes later. I remember my dad sitting at my kitchen table for the last time. Goodbye house. It was nice owning you.

almost a year later.....

my last post was close to a year ago.  so much has happened in that year.  major life changes.  most were traumatizing as they occurred, but now with distance, I see the good in the changes. I will probably take a few posts to catch you up, since i doubt you've settled in to read a novel today!  last year at this time I was still struggling with the loss of my dad on a daily basis.  that hasn't really changed.  a day has yet to pass that i don't shed at least a few tears.  maybe it will always be that way.  i don't know.
so i find myself living in a different place, without a husband.  the hamster has passed away and i seem to have misplaced some close friends.  the good news?  i love my new place, i am getting my business back on track after a 2 year derailment, i'm enjoying living MY life and have made some wonderful new friends.  when your life falls apart, its interesting to see who is still standing and who has fallen away.  i've learned alot.  i'm still confused about much more!  more later.....i've got work to do now!

A father's day - without

Today was a difficult day for me. My first father's day since he died. It also marks a year since the last time we had a conversation. I can't help but think of that last chat and the odd question he asked me. He asked at the end of it if I had anything else I wanted to talk about. I know that doesn't sound like much but it was very much out of character. Almost like he knew he'd soon be gone. Weird.

a fantastic event

the southern california flame surfers sponsored their 1st Beads of Courage event yesterday. Beads of Courage is an arts-in-medicine program for children with serious illnesses. what a privilege it was to take part in this special event.  if you'd like more information please go to www.beadsofcourage.org

busy, busy

I have been on the torch melting glass like crazy.  When I'm in torching mode (as opposed to silver creating and jewelry designing.  or, to be honest, just screwing around) I am in the zone.  I find it totally meditative and relaxing.  It cleans out my brain in a way nothing else does.  And the colors.  It's like opening a brand new box of crayons everyday.  Can you smell them?  And then LAYERING colors.  That changes everything.  I think I'll allow myself a few more days with glass, then I better move on to the next thing!

Sylvie!!!

Exciting news! the incredibly talented Sylvie Lansdowne is coming to Southern California to teach at The Mandrel!  Sylvie "The Queen of Whimsy" makes the most fantastic beads and she will be sharing some of her tips and tricks.....
call Donna at The Mandrel for info 310 413 9789

here is a peek at the magic that is Sylvie!!!